Here we go again

Recently I became concerned that Riley needed more therapeutic services than she had been receiving.  So I took her in for evaluations and I was right.  We’re in the process of setting up OT, PT, speech, behavioral analysis, and psychological therapy.  In fact, I’m even taking her to see her pediatrician soon because the PT noticed a problem that I hadn’t thought about in years.  She has this thing with her right foot.  It never did point the right way but her previous doctors said not to worry about it.  Of course, they also didn’t think it was unusual for a 4 year old to be nonverbal.

Why is it so hard for me to push for what I know is right?  I knew 3 years before her doctors did that she was developmentally delayed.  I knew 19 years before I had an MRI that something in my arm tore.  Turns out it was the TFCC tendon.  I know when I’m right and I’m always validated eventually.  So why do I listen to “professionals” or anyone else when they brush me aside?  Why am I so willing to abdicate my responsibility to myself and my family just because someone else offered an easier answer even though I know they’re wrong?  What am I scared of?  Being right?

My intuition is good.  It’s almost never let me down.  People, on the other hand, all too often do.  Yet it’s easier for me to trust them than myself.  It absolutely baffles me that I let that happen so often!  I guess it’s a confidence issue.  I really need to work on that!  Especially where it comes to confronting professionals or people whose feelings might be hurt.  It’s nothing personal!  I just need to look out for my own health and my kids before I worry about anyone else’s feelings.  It’s really not so wrong to push for additional testing or a second opinion or whatever else we need and the sooner I deal with that, the sooner I can get our acts together!

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Posted on May 17, 2012, in Asperger's, Autism, PDD-NOS, Random Musings, Riley, Sherry and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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