Category Archives: Politics

“Just because” is not just cause

I grew up in the South in the 1970s and 80s.  I was a poor white girl surrounded primarily by other poor whites.  On any given day I saw more rebel flags than American flags.  The American flag, the Stars and Stripes, was reserved for “official” use – government buildings mainly – schools, post offices, and the like.  The rebel flag, the Stars and Bars, was more of a populist thing, a flag of the people, as it were.  Sewn onto hats and coats, screen-printed on t-shirts, license tags on the front plates of cars (TN does not require front registration plates), stickers on windows, kerchiefs sold in convenience stores, flying proudly on poles in front yards.  Seriously.  The thing was everywhere.

And I always felt maybe I was missing something.  The Confederacy lost over a hundred years previously.  Why are people proudly displaying a lost army’s flag?  They were beaten so badly they officially disbanded and were absorbed back into the USA.

“It’s our history, heritage, culture,” people tried to explain to me.  That didn’t make sense to me.  Sure, it’s a representation of the HISTORY of a HERITAGE and CULTURE that lowered other humans to the status of chattel and decided it was okay to be as inhumane as they wanted to them.

“No, you idiot,” they tried again.  “The War for Southern Independence was over states’ rights!”

Uhm, yeah.  States’ rights to slavery.  Really didn’t convince me.

We even had “neo-Nazis” at my high school.  Two boys, brothers.  They were vulgar, repulsive, and too old for the grades they were in.  I actually asked the older one what his problem was, why did he hate people with black skin?  It pretty much boiled down to “just because”.  I couldn’t wrap my head around “just because” being just cause to hate.  I didn’t get it then.  I don’t get it now.

But maybe all those old rednecks were right and the South will rise again.  The most repulsive attitudes of it sure are alive and well.

The Christian God chooses POTUS?

Every election cycle (which is pretty much endless these days) I hear the argument that we citizens should be grateful for whoever is put into political office but the outcome of election’s is “God’s will”.  Then, when their guy loses, some of those people get tied up in knots because either they don’t really believe what they’re preaching or God didn’t choose their candidate and that’s just unacceptable.  How DARE God not choose the politician who most uses his name to make money and get votes and control people’s personal lives?  Harumph!

Now that we have 45 in the White House I’ve heard it again, but less this time (probably because I’ve allowed some people to leave my life and others to enter).  But, in all honesty, I can actually see it.  Oh, not because 45 will do God’s will in, well, anything ever but because our great citizens have been complacent for long enough!

We’ve allowed the government full reign over everything!  Improvements were happening slowly.  We’d made progress on protecting the environment and on human rights.  Women’s concerns were being taken almost seriously.  Corporations were learning they had to act right by their consumers AND employees!  But it was slow and there were those fighting every step of the way to resume a way of destruction.

So now we have 45.  Donald J. Trump.  Stephen Bannon.  Rex Tillerson.  A whole slew of the worst filth humanity has to offer in charge of our nation and reversing every human rights and environmental gain that’s been made in the last, well, ever.  How can this possibly be God’s will?

Well, look outside the government.  Look to the people.  We’re waking up!  We the People are getting involved!  In our communities, our local governments, our environment.  Every time 45 announces another human right or government program he wants to eliminate, the people move en masse to prevent disaster.  We have NEVER seen this kind of involvement!  Eliminate funding to Planned Parenthood?  They take in a year’s worth of donations in one weekend.  Eliminate funding to women’s health care providers in underdeveloped nations?  Donations skyrocket there, too.  Lock up American citizens and permanent residents and green card holders because of where their plane flew in from?  Watch as people storm the airports to free those wrongfully held!  Lawyers donated their services to help release people!

We can’t even keep up with all of the harmful, hateful garbage this administration is getting past us!  It’s too much too quickly!  Their only chance is to keep us dizzy and distracted, and they are good at that.  But there are enough of us ready to fight back that we can mitigate a lot of the harm.

So maybe that is God’s will.  Get everyone awake and active and participating in our local communities and helping all who come our way.  It’s a shame it took something so destructive to wake us up but we’re here now.  And we’ll do everything we can to stop this group from destroying the only world we have.

Taking the Bible literally — Why Leviticus?

For years I’ve heard people talking about how the Bible is meant to be taken literally.  These people almost invariably point out certain laws in Leviticus.  Never the laws that affect them personally, though.  Shellfish and pork are fine.  It’s also okay to eat meat on Friday.  Divorce is quite acceptable, slavery is illegal, and it’s nearly impossible to get all of your clothes made of a single fabric.  Almost everything is mixed fibers!

However, the laws that allow people to dictate how others live — those are literal!  Homosexuals are bad!  Witches are evil!  Stone him!  Burn her!  Kill them all!  Those are horrible laws.  Why would anyone want to keep laws like these alive?

Leviticus is part of the history of the Israelites.  These laws may have served a functional purpose at the time.  But they hardly seem relevant to a supposed Christian society 5000-6000 years after the fact.

In fact, if we do want to call ourselves a Christian nation, maybe we should consider taking the teachings of Christ literally instead.  How about the Gospel according to Matthew?

In Matthew, Jesus performed many miracles.  He healed the sick, caused the blind to see and the deaf to hear, and began raising people from the dead.  Twice he fed thousands from a very small amount of food!

He also laid down many laws.  Do not be angry, do not swear an oath, do not resist an evil person.  Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.  He strictly forbade divorce and has stern words for hypocrites.  Anyone who announces their gifts to the needy, prays in public, or would “disfigure their face to show others they are fasting” will get no reward from God.  They put on a show to receive applause from others.  They have received their reward and deserve no more.

The concept that Jesus talks about the most in Matthew is faith.  Matthew 17:20 Truly I tell you, if you have faith so small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.  Matthew 21:21-22 Truly I tell you, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go throw yourself into the sea’ and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.

He also repeatedly accuses his disciples and other followers of having little faith.  In Matthew 8:23-27 they were in a boat when a storm began to rock the boat.  Being afraid they were going to drown, they awoke Jesus to save them.  Matthew 8:26 He replied, ‘You of little faith, why are you so afraid?’ Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.

An even more interesting story is in Matthew 16:21-33.  Here Jesus sends his disciples ahead in a boat.  When he was ready to catch up to them the next morning, he simply walked across the water to the boat!  The disciples freaked out but Jesus called Peter to walk with him.  He was able to for a moment but began to sink when he got scared.  “Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. ‘You of little faith,’ he said, ‘why did you doubt?'”

In Matthew 17:20 Jesus referred to “faith so small as a mustard seed”.  Why a mustard seed?  What’s the significance of mustard seeds?  Matthew 13:31-32 The Kingdom of Heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field.  Though it is the smallest of the seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds come and perch in its branches.

So the mustard seed is the smallest seed yet it has the greatest potential.  How does a seed reach this potential?

Matthew 12:3-9 A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Still other fell on good soil, where it produced a crop – a hundred, sixty, or thirty times what was sown.

It sounds pretty straight forward.  We must sow our mustard seed of faith in good soil in order to produce a crop.  OK, easier said than done.  In Matthew 5 and 6 Jesus gives a list of rules to live rightly.  Most of these rules regard relationships with other people – don’t hold on to anger (5:22), do not swear an oath at all (5:34-37), do not resist an evil person (5:39-42), love your enemies (5:43-47), and “do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (6:34)

I believe this last verse is most significant because in Matthew 10 he gives his disciples the ability to heal and cast out demons then sends them out to spread the ministry but to take nothing with them.  He instructs them to look for hospitality in the various towns they visit.  Here they get to put Matthew 6:34 into practice!  Is this the soil in which we must plant our mustard seed of faith?  Not worrying for tomorrow but knowing tomorrow’s needs will be met?  Again, easier said than done!

What will happen if our seed is sown in this soil?  Matthew 17:20 Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain ‘Move from here to there and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.’  Matthew 21:21-22 Truly I tell you, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to this fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain ‘Go throw yourself in the sea’, and it will be done. If you believe you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.

Trees withered!  Mountains moved!  Prayers answered!  That is quite a statement but Jesus makes it twice in Matthew so it is possible.  Jesus said, “Nothing will be impossible for you.”  NOTHING!

So why don’t we have a nation of people walking on water or quelling storms or withering trees or even healing the sick or feeding thousands?  Is it so difficult to plant our faith seed in the Words of Jesus so that it can become a tree with birds perched in its branches?  We must practice living the words of love and faith spoken by Jesus so that we can ask in prayer without doubt.

I guess this explains why modern Christians prefer to take the harsh words of Leviticus literally rather than the words of hope and love spoken by Jesus in the Gospel according to Matthew.  It’s easier to condemn our neighbor “because God said so” than to have faith in our own ability to perform miracles, even though Jesus taught us the possibility.

Modern conservatives are arrogant and lack the ability to think things through

“I believe abortion is a bad, evil thing; therefor, everyone in the world must live by MY beliefs with no room for anyone else’s to be considered!”  ARROGANT!

“I’m a GOOD citizen!  All those slackers and deadbeats need to stop being disabled and poor and get minimum wage jobs that won’t pay the rent instead of asking for handouts!”  ARROGANT!

“Insurance providers should not cover birth control!  If she wants to have sex she should take care of it herself!”  I THOUGHT YOU DIDN’T LIKE ABORTION OR WELFARE!  THINK IT THROUGH!  YOUR WAY MEANS MEN CAN’T HAVE SEX, EITHER!  THINK IT THROUGH!

“Let’s dump this industrial/mining/nuclear waste into the local water supply.  It won’t affect anyone.  At least not in our generation.”  THINK IT THROUGH!

“Why so many industrial regulations about pollution?  All these rules keep costs up!”  AND POLLUTION DOWN!  THINK IT THROUGH!

I could keep going.  There’s a really long list of problems with the modern conservative policies.  And then there’s the oh-s0-witty comebacks.  “Obama put a short term slow-down on ONE type of visa from ONE country after some people were found to be improperly screened until better screening practices could be put in to place!  That’s the same thing as Trump’s ban on ALL travel from SEVEN countries where no credible threats against America have ever been found.”  NOT THE SAME THING!  AT ALL!  PLUS it’s a wonderful recruiting tool for our enemies overseas.  Pictures of babies in handcuffs is not a way to make new friends!

And how about that pending war with China?  Yeah, that looks like it’s going to be a nuclear blast!

Personally, I like having breathable air and drinkable water and food that doesn’t make me sick and the ability to choose what religion I want to be part of, if any at all.  When I was having trouble with uterine fibroids, I’m grateful my insurance covered birth control pills to help regulate the growth of the tumors and the associated bleeding and PMDD even though I was infertile at the time.

Seriously, people!  Actions have consequences!  Think it through!  I know it’s hard and it sucks but we can’t live in an overreactionary state.  It is harmful to everyone, the planet included.

Now, the problem with modern liberals is they want to work with everyone and compromise.  It’s obviously ineffective and makes them weak.  On some of these issues there can be no compromise.  We NEED water.  We NEED air.  We NEED access to birth control.  We NEED to accept that everyone is different and has different beliefs and telling someone they have to live by YOUR beliefs is arrogant and idiotic.  Do you want someone telling you you have to live by their beliefs?  No, you don’t.  I see your memes all the time on that issue, too.  “Your religion can’t influence laws that affect my life but mine HAS to write laws about YOUR life!”  ARROGANT!  And the whole reason why our U.S. Constitution has that whole establishment clause thing about the separation of church and state.

Until we come together and decide to help each other and stop using our religious texts to bully each other and realize we NEED a healthy planet to live on, things are just gonna get uglier from here.

May all the Gods and Goddesses help us.  One may not be enough this time.

Tragedies and distractions

October 1, 2016 – 7:00

Good morning, beautiful, You feeling good? Sleep well? I’ve got big news! I’ve broken the law again! No, shh, shh… I’ve been discovered violating… no, shh, yes, they’ve found out I’ve been acting as your representative illegally again. No, no word. Yes, for real. I’ve got to run out now.

I’m directly consulting with a firm, a charitable effort, they’ll help me not get caught.

Do you believe still? There’s no problem with my story…. story… it’s my BUSINESS!

There was a problem with my investment! I had to invest it and I played right into their pockets.

Now I’m a murderer, a killer, a bad guy… how can you ever respect me… oh my business partner, I love you,

Those damning corroborating polls! I’m a hate symbol! I need help, Social media? sad, angry, smug

#1 rule online – the love/hate relationship of mainstream propaganda

You should dump me.

The defamation is continuing. The accusations are depressing.

I’m nothing but a scary peeper creeper, a peeping tom, on the outside looking in.

They’re making jokes, hilarious

Say I’m #1

 

Nice to see you again, beautiful gift.

Go get those bastards for me!

Enjoy this campaign, this buffet of wonderful things laid out before you.

I want to be happy again, I wish I could be.

I only feel terrible anxiety, I’m shivering and cold all the time now, it’s revealed in small ways.

I guess we wait to see how it works out.

It’s high stakes policy but thankfully the debate is only moderate.

They’re saying it has nothing to do with business.

 

I would appreciate some talk about your sexy self.

I’ve fallen on hard times lately.

Please show me… I’m not entirely sure.

This former show pushed human relations.

Do not add to desire.

If you care you can get anything you want for inspirational purposes, if you’re half naked…

aww… I just wanted to set a tone.

I’m sorry, stick around, please!

 

This is an open invitation!

The family feud is just getting warmed up!

If the other person wins, you get a chance to steal.

Let’s do it!

Feeling a little competitive?

The fall happened hard.

Everyone laughed, think about that.

Oh, you beat me to the buzzer!

Unicorn kisses!

We have a winner!

But it leads to so many jobs!

Just read the script. Keep talking about the fun stuff. Stay on message. Move quickly. This is honoring the founder and cofounder. Yes, include her. Help reframe the argument. Be insistent. Use the most tremendous walk back. I mean, seriously, do you even get sarcasm? Defuse the situation. Always lies, always tells the truth. Beat it. 100% cheat. Not yes, maybe. Not suggesting you cheat your opponent, never!

Talking the talk and walking the walk. Observer of the 4 horsemen? Participate! Sign up! You should give the best reviews you can, no you cannot legally rape your spouse, read the paperback today!

 

Running behind, James. Holding your breath. Thank you, Lester. Debates! Parents arguing? Change the subject. Waterboard! Save the code, 1-30-croutons-luckycharms-magicallydelicious-18-20-sneaky-rakes-hoe-goodday-thankyou, run!

 

Cloud infinite, up and running. Communicate better, criminal

 

With a friend. Make a prediction. Broadcasting night of election, not doing live bracketing,

Depending on what happens. We’ll see. I don’t know what’s going to happen, sink to bottom of the ocean? Lovely, handsome, talented, loves to get naked. Only in a thong. People are spying on us!

Emotional, urgent! Direct, good people.

 

Pretty lady, give me a sign? I’m at your beck and call. Proceed with caution, I’ll do your bidding.

I’ll bid my heart goodbye. You’ll be mine all mine. No contest, if you fall in love. You know I’m one of a kind.

 

Great to be back, love. So sorry you have to watch a sick nothing trump a poor object. Scary tough. Highlight thought, runaway together? The real excitement starts next week. What happens if hell freezes over? Imagine that first 30 days if we picked something different and loved it over and over for the hell of it?

 

This week security was major. A huge leader was a no show. Not ideal but so much better than a strong statement that could hurt me. There are plenty of issues to talk about and believe me, I’m perfectly comfortable with that, but I’m better off this way. And absolutely, if given 3 tries, I would refuse to rule out a big place barely providing any context on a policy to a fill a book with things the population doesn’t know.

 

You untie the ribbons and find me, your new bundle of joy. I shine and the light dances off of me as the clock strikes 9. You take me out to play and I pop, making the air rise and shine. You again hug your new bundle of joy to your bosom as the clock strikes 9.

 

Let’s stay connected. The way we work together changes how we live, shows how we understand, how we feel. It’s totally inappropriate to ask but can we take a honeymoon? We’ll go glamping… there’s nothing to compare to it! An African safari! The animals! Big 5: elephants, zebras, rhinos! We’ll have mosquito nets, a butler to wake us to go on drives, lotion to blow the airhorn, a horny male stalking peeping tom, kind of adorable…

Why did you do this? I’d explain what’s happening but emasculation looks good in person. Hm, you might have got something you don’t want in this deal. I guess I win. I guess you didn’t know I was out on a work release. Creepy. Want a baseball bat?  It’s your choice. You can smash it. Got conflicting feelings? I love that!

 

Wishful thinking? Oh, how happy my heart is right now!

 

Peculiar children. A good, funky kind of punk. A new, all out isolated existence. They’re shocked. I’m used to it. They think they’re dangerous and can go psycho at any moment. They’re living independently and it took a while. They get me, legally and sadly. They’re watching and very hands on. They say just do what you want. Do you like what you’re doing? They have an immediate reaction. Great, just keep doing that, just go that direction. Don’t even finish your sentence. They know what you’re saying. It may take weeks but they eventually do it. It’s so fun. They have the clip. They set it up and do it on their own terms. They’ll show everyone. It happens like clockwork. Hold on tight. It’s pretty cool.

 

Everyone has a special power. Want to know mine? I can see monsters. They’re terrifying.

 

Warning! Dependency at work! #1!

 

It’s about showing up! It’s important to call so we’ll get that *personal* response, oh yeah. Remember the Dickey amendment? “The noes have it”. Again and again and again. It’s like watching deer in headlights. Every time. Even Dickey himself can’t take that thing down now. The CDC’s hands are tied and I love it. Are you kidding me? It’s amazing!

 

The results are like an earthquake! Just an unprecedented right surge! Tell the people their second amendment rights are under attack and BOOM! You don’t want THAT malignant pressure on you. It’s like Belgium’s golden arm of filthy migrants giving Hitler a salute then questioning their hand cleanliness.

 

There’s that tall llama again, with his European flag and its jaunty swastika trademark. Mayday! Mayday! The Yarvik right exploded with ticket A and its terrifying metal! It’s a conspiracy of smooth jazz. Just jam a new album for the pureblood lines. They’ll never realize you just make it all up as you go.

 

You know, the Catholic is not going away if you miss confession. Just get it off your chest. Tell them you aren’t hesitant. Go to confession with the standard disclaimer. Oh, I must be guilty, forgive me if I pretend I won’t do it again? Now I’ll run off and have my Gatorade if it’ll help me get to heaven. I’ll talk and grow but never really get cleaned up and I’ll move and eat like an endurance athlete and I’m binging and training and sex sells. Wear a tie and that’s my second mistake. Better make up a self-driving story to tell until you stop paying attention to my intentions at the parent teacher conferences and we’ll start all over again. Whew, I better have some high fiber cereal! Forgive me? I’ll forgive you.

Do you have a pen? I have an apple for you. Oh, you started without me. I’ve been running around the stationery store looking for fruit! Don’t give me attitude, it’s midnight. Watch this. Trust me! Do you have a pineapple? Just mime it.

 

Hey, pretty lady. I’m at your beck and call. I’ll do your bidding. Going once. Going twice. Ohhh, I lost my heart. It’s going a mile a minute! I’d give anything! I fell in love and now I’m going to be laughed at.

 

Oh, I’m sold again! You’d give anything cause I’m looking fine. I’m going twice. Just give a sign and I’m sold.

 

Noone said…

Noone asked about…

Noone played a song…

Noone made me think…

Funny… it’s not like… I break down sometimes…

I don’t know why…

I don’t know why…

When someone is… and I’m all alone…

I never need a reason

Sometimes, I don’t know why…

When someone is all alone…

Never need a reason…

Sometimes…

I don’t need a reason…

Sometimes…

Never need a reason…

Sometimes…

Don’t need a reason…

I never need a reason…

I miss…

I don’t know why

 

My host said next time, I’m almost scared to ask Bad luck getting a girl? I give a sympathy sigh – thank you You lost out – how about some sad music? You’re a good guy – maybe if we lower the lights? You think they’ll never find you. She made me such a fool… sing, serenade, that’s how it’ll always go. I LOVE YOU! lights up… WESTWORLD! It’s done

What are we doing here? Always in danger for a song… Thank you!

 

WELCOME BACK!

I skipped Walking Dead for the Standing Barely Alive! Are you in bed? Are your best days ahead of you? Or behind you and slathered in Vicks Vap-O-Rub? Oh, that was a sick burn! Can you afford the ropes to tie together your flints and lead poisoning? The delusional pandering promises reflexively start to shy away from the critical debate and know their institutional promises to Wall Street respect their intelligence. Excuse me, I’m talking! Kevin Bacon fans! Wait! You have your trigger finger woman! Shut her up with a drone strike! Of course we need her birth certificate. How can there be an expectation of privacy in the potty?

Oh this IS a special occassion for me! I should wear my formal underwear and, my, to whom do I owe thanks for how far to the right this has gone!

I never could have imagined this clusterfuck!

Let’s count!

 

January 9, 2015 San Francisco California Laguna & Page Streets 4 killed
January 24, 2015 Arverne New York 148th Ave 4 killed
January 31, 2015 Lagrange Georgia Woodstream Trail 4 killed
February 7, 2015 Douglasville Georgia Willow Tree Circle 5 killed
February 22, 2015 Killeen Texas Godman Street 4 killed
February 26, 2015 Tyrone Missouri Highway H 8 killed
March 24, 2015 Indianapolis Indiana North Harding Street 4 killed
April 16, 2015 Phoenix Arizona East Anderson Drive 5 killed
May 3, 2015 Menasha Wisconsin North Lake Street 4 killed
May 12, 2015 Tucson Arizona West Calle Medina Road 5 killed
May 17, 2015 Waco Texas S Jack Kultgen Expy 9 killed
June 7, 2015 Deer Lodge Montana Boulder Creek Road 5 killed
June 13, 2015 Columbus Ohio E. Hudson St 4 killed
June 17, 2015 Charleston South Carolina Calhoun St 9 killed
July 15, 2015 Holly Hill South Carolina Old State Road 4 killed
July 16, 2015 Chattanooga Tennessee Amnicola Hwy 6 killed
July 22, 2015 Suwanee Georgia Old Atlanta Rd 5 killed
August 7, 2015 Barre Vermont Airport Rd 4 killed
August 8, 2015 Houston Texas Falling Oaks 8 killed
September 10, 2015 Excelsior Minnesota Channel Drive 5 killed
September 17, 2015 Geddes South Dakota 379th Street 6 killed
October 1, 2015 Roseburg Oregon Umpqua College Road 10 killed
November 2, 2015 Pendleton South Carolina Refuge Road 4 killed
November 13, 2015 Jacksonville Florida Shirley Oaks Drive 4 killed
November 15, 2015 Tennessee Colony Texas County Road 2217 5 killed
November 23, 2015 Columbus Ohio S. Terrace Avenue 4 killed
December 2, 2015 San Bernardino California South Waterman Ave 16 killed

 

And that’s just the scenes with 4 or more people KILLED! A mass shooting is officially defined as 4 or more people killed OR injured! And THAT’S just 2015 in the good ole USA! Not even counting the fun had in Paris!

 

But… shit… with all this fun comes publicity… people are paying attention and talking about me and my buddy Dickey. Anyone got a distraction?

 

Confederate Flags! What color is that dress and does anyone really care? Let’s ride a motorcycle to our gay marriage so Kim Davis will go to jail!

 

Oh this exceeds my expectations again! If you’ll look to stage right when the orchestra plays “Eye of the Tiger” you’ll see Mr. T doing an insane viral dance with Jessica Williams and all of your favorite social media memes!

 

Yes! The data says we have a winner by a Canadian mile.

 

The crazy Drake video bling is a haunting portrayal of Kylie Jenner sucking and fucking up the last of the ebola, all of it, from the dick of nature. Beautiful.

 

On a sadder note. Black lives matter brings tension to the police community. What a buzzkill. Cheerup, everybody! I need another outrage. Quick!

 

Oh, yeah! Who has AIDS? I’ve got a secret and it’s out now! Oh, let’s not play that game. BREAKING NEWS: Man who jacked up the price of lifesaving AIDS drug arrested for securities fraud! Mhm, financial fraud is nothing to fuck with.

 

Let’s all FREAK OUT! Did someone say BOMB?

 

Ah, but snitched on bitches haven’t forgotten. You still think that’s right? He died. Do you cherish his memory? What do you got to tell me, bad boy? Was that your first beer? Do you love us? Are you a bad boy? Can you roll in my crew?

 

Are you cool like me? Not like them. I’m sorry. Didn’t you rehearse?

 

We said goodbye. Finally.

You deserve this honor: my running mate.

Counterfeit. We all pretended.

Thank you for your help.

Finally the top stories from last night, c’mon, c’mon, hurry it up now.

He was shot while dragging a piece of pizza?

Not even going up?

I’m supposed to be impressed by this like he’s some kind of hero?

He’s just a quitter getting shot over a piece of pizza. Look at me!

Someone give me a movie deal!

 

 

 

 

It’s the first day of summer and the kids are fine at home. Playing in the yards, the boys are fine and know Mary is average. Mary goes home and is hit with a right mitt. She knows she’s the first girl of the evenings, even with her 11 o’clock curfew.

She rides her Schwinn on her paper route and to the movies where we watch Gone with the Wind.

It’s been 15 long years since Mary took me to lunch and I took her to her real home.

 

Daaammmn! You ever wanted to be black? Black is sexy, yeah? Hell, yeah, you don’t even know. Quick story… sound track

fo shizzle… anyway… I’m walking down the street, minding my own business, when out of nowhere! STOP! ON THE GROUND! Wha? Who? Me? YES, YOU! YOU WERE LOOKING AROUND! Yes, officer. I usually look both ways before crossing the street. Can’t we just have a dance off? BANG! BANG! End soundtrack

 

Oh, please, someone give me another distraction! Quick! Even if he was shot, why should I care? He was a bad person, right?

 

Oh, look! A new warning! Another disease!

And it’s carried in our tears? I’m sorry.

That’s on you… just stop crying! It’ll only make the crisis worse!

Ta-da! Congress is on the case! That’ll fix everything! Yes, yes, yes! Thank you!

For the third time they failed to pass a bill. They blocked it!

Until they can ban Planned Parenthood from receiving money? Oh, how long could THAT take?

Just lock the cars and smash the jars.

We’re concerned about the people. There’s nothing we’re not willing to do. It did not smell well and it made a noise when it was used. Who can have sex like that? It even comes in different flavors!

 

That’s a government that has its people’s best interest at heart!

 

 

 

Why I marched

Someone asked what rights men have that women don’t.  Women can drive and vote and own property, even run for public office.  We’ve come a long way, baby!  Even though the question was asked in anger, I’ll try to tone down the attitude in my thoughts on the matter because an angry woman is “nasty”, a “bitch”, even a “cunt”.  Things get creative from there.  What’s an angry man?  Women want the same right to anger as men have.

Did you know there are test strips and special finger nail polish that change color when exposed to date rape drugs?  We want the right to go out, with friends or alone, without the possibility of being raped as our default setting.

If, God forbid, we are raped we want the right to go to the hospital and police without cynicism and accusations.  No, it  wasn’t because of where we were or what we were wearing.  Whether or not we had flirted with him or even had had sex with him in the past is irrelevant and shouldn’t even be asked.  We want our evidence kits tested, not destroyed.  We want him to have to live with his crime for the rest of his life.  He gave us a life sentence.  Why should he get off with less?

We want pay equity.  Same shit, different century.  We want to get jobs based on our qualifications.  How many people voted against Mrs. Clinton because they “don’t want to look at her for four years”?  So because she isn’t “pretty”?   Bullshit.  How many women have lost job opportunities because they are married or of child-bearing age?  How often do you hear of men losing promotions because they might decide to have a child in the next couple of years?

There are also rights we want to protect that are under systematic attack.  OK, I’ll go there.  Planned Parenthood provides education, cancer screenings, birth control (which can prevent abortions, fyi), and general healthcare in many clinics where the population has little other access to these services.  Yes, some clinics even provide abortion services.  Without touching on right or wrong here, let’s keep back alley abortions as a thing of the past.  Now, if you are of the belief  that abortion is murder, remember not everyone agrees with you.  We are asking that our medical choices be between us and our medical professional and not based on your beliefs or opinions.  I’m sure there are ways you can educate others on your beliefs while helping, rather than harming, the women faced with this heartbreaking choice.

And if a woman needs permission from someone other than her medical provider to have an abortion, a man should need permission to get ED pills, which should be issued with two condoms and a Plan B pack.  Per pill, not prescription.  Oh, would that raise the price?  Well, why should we be paying for him to have sex, anyway?

It seems our right to peaceably assemble has also recently come under verbal assault.

Now, if you think the Marches were all about “women’s rights”, you weren’t paying attention.

Our new President has financial interest in a hotel that foreign leaders have already said of course they’ll stay in to curry favor.  Our new President has financial interests in oil pipelines, most notoriously the Dakota Access Pipeline.  He is now in a position to enact legislation that will do irreparable harm to the water protectors, the water source, the land, and everything else in the name of PERSONAL PROFIT.

Our new President has nominated for positions people who are eminently unqualified and have frightening views for their proposed departments.

Our new President has already moved to undo insurance protections for the poor, the disabled, and the chronically ill.

We the People marched to remind him that we are aware of his conflicts of interest and we are watching him and holding him accountable.

We the People marched to send a message to his appointees that we are watching them and holding them accountable, too.

We the People marched to send a message to the people in our new President’s line of fire that we’ve got you covered, even if you misunderstand or despise us.  An attack on one of us is an attack on all free Americans.

We the People marched to remind the President and his cronies that just because you prefer to live in a world of alternative facts doesn’t mean reality goes away or follows your command.

Has all of the childish name-calling, the negativity, the hatred being spewed by the President’s supporters made me regret my decision to march?  On the contrary, it’s furthered my resolve to action.  I will attend every march, every rally, every meeting, every group get-together I can until sanity reigns and reality is restored.  When you insult me and call me names I learn more about you than I do myself.  Anyway, this snowflake is proud to be part of the avalanche.