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What is, what was, what could be

Saturday afternoon I received some bad news.  It’s not that it was unexpected news.  I knew it could happen this early.  But I hadn’t thought about it in a while and thought I had a few more months.  When I learned the extra time was not to be, I had to move forward with planning for this new circumstance.

Unfortunately I don’t handle bad news well.  It’s Tuesday evening now and I’ve had this knot in my shoulder since Sunday morning!  But I’m finally moving forward with some alternate plans.  Not enough yet but it’s a start!  And I have a month to work things out.

Saturday was also closing night of Tyler’s play!  I only got to see 2 shows but it was opening night and closing night so those are the 2 I would have chosen.  He had a great time and he is sad it’s over but I know he’s happy, too.  He’s missed a lot of sleep the last couple of months!  But the next project will come up very soon (he’s involved with 2 local theaters and the new drama program at his high school… it won’t be long!) and once again he will never be home and will wish he could take a nap.

Riley is doing awesome!  Having three part time teachers rather than 1 full time teacher doesn’t seem to be bothering her at all.  Plus she’s in practice for the Special Olympics Equestrian event.  We were there earlier this evening and they finally took the lead rope off the horse!  She was riding independently in the spring but her new coach had never worked with her before.  The show is in 4 weeks and we’re already excited!

As for me, the word is stress!  Yesterday Riley had therapy so I spent 3 hours in the waiting room!  The last hour was pretty nice but before then, ugh!  I really wanted to suggest to that other mom that her verbal reprimands were going unheeded and perhaps he would respond better to distraction or some other option but decided to just shut up with the unsolicited advice.  Because, seriously, almost nobody wants to hear it!

I’m trying to take my stress out on planning for the future, cleaning up my home, and crafting.  I did have a bag of M&Ms yesterday.  Chocolate just seemed the thing to do at the time!  But I kicked my butt this morning during my workout 🙂  I was also hoping a good workout would help this painful knot in my shoulder.  I guess it helped some.  It’s gone from knotted kite string to knotted shoe string so that’s something!

Maybe this week I’ll share a craft I’ve been working on.  But then the question becomes, which one!  Greeting card?  Clock?  Jewelry?  Bookmark?  Decisions, decisions, so many decisions!

So what is?  Change!  Always change!  Ready or not, something WILL change!  What was?  Tyler’s play.  My procrastination.  The lead rope from Riley’s horse!  What could be?  The beautiful (yet terrifying) thing is I have no idea!

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Sabotage? I think not!

Riley is doing amazing!  Seriously.  Incredible.  The difference in her in just the last few months is unbelievable.  Her speech.  Her social skills.  Pretty much everything.  I was terrified at taking on multiplication again after the summer since it was so hard in 3rd grade but it feels as though she assimilated that information over the break.  She’s doing great!

I’m doing wonderful, too!  I’ve lost nearly 15 pounds in the last month or so.  I’m really close to a milestone!  I’m wearing pants I haven’t been able to squeeze into for months and they’re comfy!

Then there was the weekend…

Oh dear.  Run, run, run.  Busy, busy, busy.  Tyler had his play performance on Friday night then two showing on Saturday.  Riley and I went to a symphony concert Saturday evening.  (It was a fundraiser for the ranch she where she rides and they host the Special Olympics horse show.)  I ended up having dinner at 4pm at Steak N Shake.  Single burger with fries and a diet coke.  Then everyone… both kids AND my parents… ordered ice cream!  Ugh!  It’s soooooo yummy!  And I sat there sipping my diet coke.

So of course I had to have a snack at the concert (concession profits also went to the ranch).  Thankfully they provided some veggie chips (surprisingly good), fruit and bottled water.

Then Tyler’s play let out right after our concert (at adjoining venues, conveniently) so he just HAD to go to McD’s to hang out with the other actors some more.  So here I am at McD’s with an excited 16 year old, exhausted (and grumpy) 9 year old, my very tired daddy, and me.  Again, all these calories are just flying around me!  Did you know McD’s is now putting calorie counts next to every item on the menu?  I love it!  Fruit ‘n’ Yogurt Parfait!

I’m so proud of myself!  I just went over 1200 calories for the day!

Today wasn’t much better.  I didn’t even get lunch today!  Busy, busy, busy.  Run, run, run.  What’s a gal to do?  I’m sure I’ll make up for it tomorrow!

But with everything against me and temptation abounding and stress through the roof, I stuck with my desire to be healthier and fit into more flattering clothing.  Sabotage will just have to try harder next weekend!  (I don’t mean that as a challenge… really!)

The best laid plans…

So last night I was all hyped about the potential I had to get so much done today.  Yeah, didn’t happen.

Maybe because I went into overdrive yesterday.  Maybe because I didn’t take my Adderal this morning.  Maybe it’s stress.  I don’t know.  But I pretty much shut down this morning.  After Riley got on the bus I came home and passed out.  Then when I finally woke up, I was hungry all day!  To the point where I was just snacking all day.  Bananas, apples, no idea how many grapes, Special K baked chips with sea salt (I love those…).  Not exactly any diet busters in the mix but just a lot of it!

I tried to work on a braided fabric necklace I saw on Pinterest but just wasn’t feeling it.  I did get quite a bit of it so I can finish it tomorrow, I’m sure.  I definitely want to work on some greeting cards this week, too.  It’s been a while since I’ve done any paper crafting.

And since today was Tuesday, Riley had Special Olympics equestrian training!  There’s nothing she loves more than riding horses 🙂  Last year they put her in an independent category even though she’d never ridden independently.  This year, she’s ready for it!  I’m so excited for her!  There is one thing she loves almost as much as horses.  Getting trophies.  Horse trophies are just so awesome!  And of course there is always at least one cat at the arena.  Today there were two!  Eek!  Excitement overload!  Even at home with her cat that she’s had for 2-3 years some days it’s every five minutes I hear, “Mom, did you know there’s a cat in the house?”  Or “Do not move a muscle.  It’s sitting right on you!”  She is truly adorable!  Until she does it 50 times in an hour, then it can be kind of annoying.

But I’m going to bed a few minutes earlier tonight.  I want to set myself up for another day like Monday instead of like today!  I’m really not annoyed or frustrated or kicking myself about today.  It’s not all or nothing for me.  So long as my scale keeps going down instead of up, last week’s skinny jeans are next week’s fat jeans, and I have relatively healthy food for myself and my kids, I feel good about it.  I need more projects completed if I’m going to do the craft fair coming up in two months but I have a ton of excellent ideas and it’s all happening slowly but surely!  I’m in a good place in life right now and I’m just going to enjoy each day and it’s challenges and rewards one at a time 🙂

First day of school

What a successful first day!  Riley came in about 230 and seemed very excited about her day.  She didn’t say much, other than she brought me homework, but she was really happy.  It must have been a fun class 🙂  About an hour later Tyler came in.  I asked how his day was expecting a rather typical teenage grunt in response.  He gave me a very enthusiastic, “Yeah, it was really good!”  So, yay!  They won’t fight too hard tomorrow about going back again!

As for me?  Yeah, I had a pretty good first day of school, too.  I cleaned the refrigerator (mostly).  At least there’s no expired/bad food left in it and the main shelves are clean!  Worked on some crafts.  Did a couple things I’ve been putting off.  I hope tomorrow is just as productive!  Or even better!

Oh, but the excitement didn’t end when the kids got home!  No way!  Today was also the first day of training for the Special Olympics equestrian event!  Now THAT is amazing!  She hasn’t ridden in several months and she has a different instructor now so she had a leader and sidewalkers today.  It won’t be long before she’s independently riding like she was in the spring.  I’m so thrilled for her 😀

But for now, even though today was a really good day, I’m glad it’s coming to a close.  Because tomorrow is a brand new day with new adventures!  I’m excited to see what’s next!