“Just because” is not just cause

I grew up in the South in the 1970s and 80s.  I was a poor white girl surrounded primarily by other poor whites.  On any given day I saw more rebel flags than American flags.  The American flag, the Stars and Stripes, was reserved for “official” use – government buildings mainly – schools, post offices, and the like.  The rebel flag, the Stars and Bars, was more of a populist thing, a flag of the people, as it were.  Sewn onto hats and coats, screen-printed on t-shirts, license tags on the front plates of cars (TN does not require front registration plates), stickers on windows, kerchiefs sold in convenience stores, flying proudly on poles in front yards.  Seriously.  The thing was everywhere.

And I always felt maybe I was missing something.  The Confederacy lost over a hundred years previously.  Why are people proudly displaying a lost army’s flag?  They were beaten so badly they officially disbanded and were absorbed back into the USA.

“It’s our history, heritage, culture,” people tried to explain to me.  That didn’t make sense to me.  Sure, it’s a representation of the HISTORY of a HERITAGE and CULTURE that lowered other humans to the status of chattel and decided it was okay to be as inhumane as they wanted to them.

“No, you idiot,” they tried again.  “The War for Southern Independence was over states’ rights!”

Uhm, yeah.  States’ rights to slavery.  Really didn’t convince me.

We even had “neo-Nazis” at my high school.  Two boys, brothers.  They were vulgar, repulsive, and too old for the grades they were in.  I actually asked the older one what his problem was, why did he hate people with black skin?  It pretty much boiled down to “just because”.  I couldn’t wrap my head around “just because” being just cause to hate.  I didn’t get it then.  I don’t get it now.

But maybe all those old rednecks were right and the South will rise again.  The most repulsive attitudes of it sure are alive and well.

An open letter to my friend who insists her child was damaged by vaccines

Dear friend,

My dear, dear friend.  I’m not going to tell you your child wasn’t damaged by vaccines.  Frankly, I don’t know.  Nobody knows all there is to know about autism and I certainly don’t know (or care to know) your child’s medical history.  I can’t and won’t try to argue with you.

No, what I want to tell you is how I see your comments about your child and autism because I know you don’t see what I do.  This is why I’ll say “I infer” rather than “You imply”.

When you say that vaccines damaged your child, I read your child is damaged and not who she was born to be.  I read that you think your child is a medical mistake.  I read that your child is not part of God’s plan.

Do you really believe that?  That your child is a mistake?  That she is not who God created her to be?

More importantly, have you told her that?  I can’t imagine being a teenager with a neurological/cognitive/emotional disability and being told by my mother that everything that makes me who I am is damaged and a mistake and outside of God’s plan.  I had a bad enough attitude as a teenager.  With that kind of baggage I would have been intolerable.

As I’m sure you remember, both of my kids are autistic.  I have no reason to believe it was caused by any external factors.  Nor do I have reason to care.  If vaccines caused their autism, then I’m grateful to vaccine makers for not only keeping my kids from getting devastating illnesses but also helping make them the wonderful people they are.  My children are who they were born to be.  We certainly have our problems, especially my older child (aye-yi-yi, have we had our problems!), but that doesn’t define our relationship.  Unconditional love defines our relationship.

I think all parents go through a mourning phase where they have to accept that children will be who they are and not who we dreamed of them being.  I think that’s harder for special needs parents.  I also think it’s more important we let go of the anger and sense of loss and get back to the task of accepting and loving our kids for who they are.  Unconditionally.  Without reservations.  Without regrets.  Without expectations.  Definitely without the poison of anger.

I know you love your child.  Does she?  Not just in words but in every action of your being?  Does she KNOW?

Little Rey and the Every Fruit Tree

There once was a beam of sunlight named Little Rey.

Little Rey was smaller than most of the beams around her but she shone the brightest of them all.

She was so small that she never touched very many lives at one time but she was so bright that every life she touched was affected by her.

Some of these lives grew and bloomed and thrived because her light nourished them.

Others shriveled and shrank back into the shadows because her light overwhelmed them.

Whether a life grew or shriveled was not Little Rey’s fault.  It was merely a chemical reaction.

But every tine someone pulled away she wondered what she’d done wrong.

The truth is she had done nothing wrong.  It just was.

And when a life grew and thrived she celebrated for them but never saw her own light as part of it.

Then one day she found a little weed.  He had been stepped on and kicked and hadn’t seen any light in all his life.

Little Rey plucked the little weed from the cold ground and planted him in a little pot.

She nurtured him with her light and watered him with her love.  She strengthened his stem from where he had been stepped on.

Soon the little weed had outgrown his little pot so Little Rey planted him in her garden.

He continued to grow and grow and soon was the biggest tree to have ever existed!  All because Little Rey, the smallest of the lights, loved and nurtured him.

As it happens, this tree began to bear fruit.  Every kind of fruit known, plus a few unknown, grew on this tree.  When asked what kind of tree he was, Little Rey just said he was an Every Fruit Tree.

Now this tree loved Little Rey with every bit of love she had always shown him.  He inhaled pollution and exhaled vital oxygen.  He produced enough fruit to feed hundreds, if not thousands, every day.

The Every Fruit Tree knew he would continue to grow and could continue his mission of producing fruit for all only as long as Little Rey shone on him and watered him with her Love.

He focused very hard on his love and gratitude for Little Rey until a special golden fruit grew on one of his upper branches.

“Little Rey,” he called out, “I have something for you.  You found me as a broken, ugly weed and nurtured me when noone else could.  I love you and am so grateful. I would never have grown and been able to provide for everyone if not for your Love.  I grew this special golden fruit to say thank you and I love you, too.”

Little Rey picked the golden fruit.  She looked at its skin and turned it over in her hands.  She held it up to her nose and inhaled deeply.  It was the sweetest scent she’d ever smelled!

“Go ahead.  Taste it!” encouraged the Tree.

She bit into the fruit and her mouth was awash in an explosion of flavors!  It was apples and strawberries, kiwi and bananas, oranges and grapes all at once!

“Finish it,” her friend instructed.

Every bite was a new riot of flavors!

“It’s incredible!” she told him.  “What is it?”

“It’s an Every Dream Fruit,” he replied.  “It’s everything you’ve ever desired.  From now on you will have everything your heart desires.  Anything you wish, so long as the wish comes from your heart, will be yours.  If you want enough money to buy a home for yourself and a hundred other people, it’s yours.  If you want the opportunity to shine your Light on more and more people, you’ll get it.  If you want a lover, please let that be me because I love you above all.”

“Oh, Tree,” Little Rey sobbed, overjoyed to know he loved her as she had always loved him.  “There could never be anyone else!”

“Then, come,” he said, “Let’s build your houses that you may be comfortable and help as many people as you choose.”

And they worked together, his love making her glow brighter and hers making him grow taller and bear more fruit.

The two of them worked together to house the homeless and feed the hungry, to love the unloved and welcome the unwanted, and they made it their goal that all who crossed their path would be enriched for it.

When you ask an autistic kid for a writing prompt…

Last night I was writing and decided I wanted to do some creative writing.  But I couldn’t think of anything to write about!  Just then Riley came out of her room and I told her my problem.  In her excited way, she bounced and exclaimed, “A horse with hands!”  We discussed this idea for a moment and I ran with it!  So based on Riley’s prompt of “a horse with hands”, I present to you Bunny.

---

Once upon a time there was a horse.  She was a beautiful mare, white with brown patches. She was a very good horse, kind to all the other animals, but her ears were a little too long and her tail was a little too short so all the other animals started calling her Bunny.

One day when Bunny was feeling particularly self-conscious about her ears, she ran off to hide deep in the woods.  She began to talk about her troubles with anyone who would listen.

Unbeknownst to Bunny, the caterpillar perched on the toadstool was a mischievous wizard.

“Neigh,” she cried to the caterpillar, “I do so hate the way the others tease me about my ears.  I wish they would stop!”

“Ah,” answered the caterpillar. “What if I could make it so they never thought about your ears again?”

“Oh, could you?” Bunny was ecstatic. “What can you do?”

“You see my toadstool?”

“Yes. What about it?”

“It’s magic!” exclaimed the caterpillar.

“Neigh,” laughed Bunny. “That’s silly!”

The caterpillar gave her a very stern look. “No, it is not silly.  Just you wait and see!”

He broke off a small piece of toadstool and put it into his pipe.  He lit the pipe and, once the smoke had a musky odor and was thick, he blew three big puffs straight into her face!

Bunny sneezed.  Then she coughed.  Then she said, “Now what? Are my ears a normal size now?”

“No,” said the caterpillar, “but noone will tease you about them anymore.”

Bunny thanked the caterpillar for his help then she headed home to see if the spell worked.

“Maybe it’s an illusion,” she pondered, “so noone will see how ridiculous my ears are.  Or maybe it’s a niceness spell so anyone who sees my ears just wants to be nice to me instead of tease me!”

But halfway home her shoulders began itching like crazy!  She found a clearing large enough to roll in but it did not relieve the itching.  “Oh, I shall go mad if this doesn’t stop!” she cried.  Then she tried rubbing her shoulders against a tree trunk.  That’s when she felt the bumps growing on her shoulders!

“Oh! Oh! What is that?” she cried out.

“Oh, neigh! This is dreadful!”

She tried to turn her head around to see the bumps but they were out of her view.  She wanted to get to the water to see her reflection but was slowed by the dreadful itching!

Suddenly Bunny felt a little pop on her shoulders followed by a most sensational scratching.

“Oh, neigh! That is so much better,” Bunny sighed.

She began to gallop to the lake so she could get a look at her shoulders because the itching and pop was very concerning.

But strange things happened while she was running.  Branches that would normally have hit her in the face and chest were pushed back out of her way as she passed.  The sweat was wiped from her brow.  But she was in such a rush that she barely noticed these anomalies.

When she arrived at the lake, a few other animals had gathered to drink.  They saw her burst from the trees and screamed, terrified at the changes in her!  “Oh! Tell me, please! What has that dreadful caterpillar done to me?” Bunny cried.

Three horses, although scared, came up to Bunny and began talking to her.  “What happened?” one of her friends asked.

Bunny explained how she’d been upset about how they had been teasing her about her ears and how she had told her problems to the caterpillar.  She told them how he offered to help but seemed annoyed when she didn’t believe his toadstool was magic.

The whole time Bunny was speaking she had the lovely feeling of someone petting her mane and scratching her ears and her friends were staring at her in disbelief.

When Bunny finished her story, her friend said, “You need to stay calm, okay? Come with me.”

Bunny followed her friend to the water’s edge.  She couldn’t bare what she might see and closed her eyes.  Suddenly she felt a very comforting squeeze around her neck and was startled into looking into the water.

Bunny was completely aghast at what she saw and reared up in dismay screaming, “No! No! No! Neigh, what did he do to me?”

Perfectly formed human arms had grown out of her shoulders!  She was even more of a freak now!  Oh, what would she ever do?

She had moved the branches so they wouldn’t strike her!  She had wiped the sweat from her own brow!  It was her own hands petting her mane and her own arms comforting her!

Oh, this was strange!  What would she ever do?

She began to cry but her own hands reached up and wiped her face.  She began to sniffle but her own arms stretched around her and gave her a loving squeeze.  As she grew more and more confused she became less and less upset.

She trotted up to a tree and told her friends, “Hey, watch this!” She grabbed some choice leaves from higher up than horses can normally reach and put it in her mouth!

“Oh, wow!” “Oh, that’s cool!”  “Get me some!” all her friends cried out.

“Check this out,” she said as she walked up to one of her friends and began to scratch her ears.  “Oh, that feels good!” “Do me! Do me!” everyone called.  “I want some magic toadstool, too!” they cried.

Things never did go back to normal for the friends.  After all, what’s normal about a horse with arms?  But Bunny was able to help her friends.  Having a couple of arms in the woods really did come in handy!  And one things is for sure, her friends never teased her about her ears being a little too long or her tail being a little too short ever again.

Tragedies and distractions

October 1, 2016 – 7:00

Good morning, beautiful, You feeling good? Sleep well? I’ve got big news! I’ve broken the law again! No, shh, shh… I’ve been discovered violating… no, shh, yes, they’ve found out I’ve been acting as your representative illegally again. No, no word. Yes, for real. I’ve got to run out now.

I’m directly consulting with a firm, a charitable effort, they’ll help me not get caught.

Do you believe still? There’s no problem with my story…. story… it’s my BUSINESS!

There was a problem with my investment! I had to invest it and I played right into their pockets.

Now I’m a murderer, a killer, a bad guy… how can you ever respect me… oh my business partner, I love you,

Those damning corroborating polls! I’m a hate symbol! I need help, Social media? sad, angry, smug

#1 rule online – the love/hate relationship of mainstream propaganda

You should dump me.

The defamation is continuing. The accusations are depressing.

I’m nothing but a scary peeper creeper, a peeping tom, on the outside looking in.

They’re making jokes, hilarious

Say I’m #1

 

Nice to see you again, beautiful gift.

Go get those bastards for me!

Enjoy this campaign, this buffet of wonderful things laid out before you.

I want to be happy again, I wish I could be.

I only feel terrible anxiety, I’m shivering and cold all the time now, it’s revealed in small ways.

I guess we wait to see how it works out.

It’s high stakes policy but thankfully the debate is only moderate.

They’re saying it has nothing to do with business.

 

I would appreciate some talk about your sexy self.

I’ve fallen on hard times lately.

Please show me… I’m not entirely sure.

This former show pushed human relations.

Do not add to desire.

If you care you can get anything you want for inspirational purposes, if you’re half naked…

aww… I just wanted to set a tone.

I’m sorry, stick around, please!

 

This is an open invitation!

The family feud is just getting warmed up!

If the other person wins, you get a chance to steal.

Let’s do it!

Feeling a little competitive?

The fall happened hard.

Everyone laughed, think about that.

Oh, you beat me to the buzzer!

Unicorn kisses!

We have a winner!

But it leads to so many jobs!

Just read the script. Keep talking about the fun stuff. Stay on message. Move quickly. This is honoring the founder and cofounder. Yes, include her. Help reframe the argument. Be insistent. Use the most tremendous walk back. I mean, seriously, do you even get sarcasm? Defuse the situation. Always lies, always tells the truth. Beat it. 100% cheat. Not yes, maybe. Not suggesting you cheat your opponent, never!

Talking the talk and walking the walk. Observer of the 4 horsemen? Participate! Sign up! You should give the best reviews you can, no you cannot legally rape your spouse, read the paperback today!

 

Running behind, James. Holding your breath. Thank you, Lester. Debates! Parents arguing? Change the subject. Waterboard! Save the code, 1-30-croutons-luckycharms-magicallydelicious-18-20-sneaky-rakes-hoe-goodday-thankyou, run!

 

Cloud infinite, up and running. Communicate better, criminal

 

With a friend. Make a prediction. Broadcasting night of election, not doing live bracketing,

Depending on what happens. We’ll see. I don’t know what’s going to happen, sink to bottom of the ocean? Lovely, handsome, talented, loves to get naked. Only in a thong. People are spying on us!

Emotional, urgent! Direct, good people.

 

Pretty lady, give me a sign? I’m at your beck and call. Proceed with caution, I’ll do your bidding.

I’ll bid my heart goodbye. You’ll be mine all mine. No contest, if you fall in love. You know I’m one of a kind.

 

Great to be back, love. So sorry you have to watch a sick nothing trump a poor object. Scary tough. Highlight thought, runaway together? The real excitement starts next week. What happens if hell freezes over? Imagine that first 30 days if we picked something different and loved it over and over for the hell of it?

 

This week security was major. A huge leader was a no show. Not ideal but so much better than a strong statement that could hurt me. There are plenty of issues to talk about and believe me, I’m perfectly comfortable with that, but I’m better off this way. And absolutely, if given 3 tries, I would refuse to rule out a big place barely providing any context on a policy to a fill a book with things the population doesn’t know.

 

You untie the ribbons and find me, your new bundle of joy. I shine and the light dances off of me as the clock strikes 9. You take me out to play and I pop, making the air rise and shine. You again hug your new bundle of joy to your bosom as the clock strikes 9.

 

Let’s stay connected. The way we work together changes how we live, shows how we understand, how we feel. It’s totally inappropriate to ask but can we take a honeymoon? We’ll go glamping… there’s nothing to compare to it! An African safari! The animals! Big 5: elephants, zebras, rhinos! We’ll have mosquito nets, a butler to wake us to go on drives, lotion to blow the airhorn, a horny male stalking peeping tom, kind of adorable…

Why did you do this? I’d explain what’s happening but emasculation looks good in person. Hm, you might have got something you don’t want in this deal. I guess I win. I guess you didn’t know I was out on a work release. Creepy. Want a baseball bat?  It’s your choice. You can smash it. Got conflicting feelings? I love that!

 

Wishful thinking? Oh, how happy my heart is right now!

 

Peculiar children. A good, funky kind of punk. A new, all out isolated existence. They’re shocked. I’m used to it. They think they’re dangerous and can go psycho at any moment. They’re living independently and it took a while. They get me, legally and sadly. They’re watching and very hands on. They say just do what you want. Do you like what you’re doing? They have an immediate reaction. Great, just keep doing that, just go that direction. Don’t even finish your sentence. They know what you’re saying. It may take weeks but they eventually do it. It’s so fun. They have the clip. They set it up and do it on their own terms. They’ll show everyone. It happens like clockwork. Hold on tight. It’s pretty cool.

 

Everyone has a special power. Want to know mine? I can see monsters. They’re terrifying.

 

Warning! Dependency at work! #1!

 

It’s about showing up! It’s important to call so we’ll get that *personal* response, oh yeah. Remember the Dickey amendment? “The noes have it”. Again and again and again. It’s like watching deer in headlights. Every time. Even Dickey himself can’t take that thing down now. The CDC’s hands are tied and I love it. Are you kidding me? It’s amazing!

 

The results are like an earthquake! Just an unprecedented right surge! Tell the people their second amendment rights are under attack and BOOM! You don’t want THAT malignant pressure on you. It’s like Belgium’s golden arm of filthy migrants giving Hitler a salute then questioning their hand cleanliness.

 

There’s that tall llama again, with his European flag and its jaunty swastika trademark. Mayday! Mayday! The Yarvik right exploded with ticket A and its terrifying metal! It’s a conspiracy of smooth jazz. Just jam a new album for the pureblood lines. They’ll never realize you just make it all up as you go.

 

You know, the Catholic is not going away if you miss confession. Just get it off your chest. Tell them you aren’t hesitant. Go to confession with the standard disclaimer. Oh, I must be guilty, forgive me if I pretend I won’t do it again? Now I’ll run off and have my Gatorade if it’ll help me get to heaven. I’ll talk and grow but never really get cleaned up and I’ll move and eat like an endurance athlete and I’m binging and training and sex sells. Wear a tie and that’s my second mistake. Better make up a self-driving story to tell until you stop paying attention to my intentions at the parent teacher conferences and we’ll start all over again. Whew, I better have some high fiber cereal! Forgive me? I’ll forgive you.

Do you have a pen? I have an apple for you. Oh, you started without me. I’ve been running around the stationery store looking for fruit! Don’t give me attitude, it’s midnight. Watch this. Trust me! Do you have a pineapple? Just mime it.

 

Hey, pretty lady. I’m at your beck and call. I’ll do your bidding. Going once. Going twice. Ohhh, I lost my heart. It’s going a mile a minute! I’d give anything! I fell in love and now I’m going to be laughed at.

 

Oh, I’m sold again! You’d give anything cause I’m looking fine. I’m going twice. Just give a sign and I’m sold.

 

Noone said…

Noone asked about…

Noone played a song…

Noone made me think…

Funny… it’s not like… I break down sometimes…

I don’t know why…

I don’t know why…

When someone is… and I’m all alone…

I never need a reason

Sometimes, I don’t know why…

When someone is all alone…

Never need a reason…

Sometimes…

I don’t need a reason…

Sometimes…

Never need a reason…

Sometimes…

Don’t need a reason…

I never need a reason…

I miss…

I don’t know why

 

My host said next time, I’m almost scared to ask Bad luck getting a girl? I give a sympathy sigh – thank you You lost out – how about some sad music? You’re a good guy – maybe if we lower the lights? You think they’ll never find you. She made me such a fool… sing, serenade, that’s how it’ll always go. I LOVE YOU! lights up… WESTWORLD! It’s done

What are we doing here? Always in danger for a song… Thank you!

 

WELCOME BACK!

I skipped Walking Dead for the Standing Barely Alive! Are you in bed? Are your best days ahead of you? Or behind you and slathered in Vicks Vap-O-Rub? Oh, that was a sick burn! Can you afford the ropes to tie together your flints and lead poisoning? The delusional pandering promises reflexively start to shy away from the critical debate and know their institutional promises to Wall Street respect their intelligence. Excuse me, I’m talking! Kevin Bacon fans! Wait! You have your trigger finger woman! Shut her up with a drone strike! Of course we need her birth certificate. How can there be an expectation of privacy in the potty?

Oh this IS a special occassion for me! I should wear my formal underwear and, my, to whom do I owe thanks for how far to the right this has gone!

I never could have imagined this clusterfuck!

Let’s count!

 

January 9, 2015	San Francisco	California	Laguna & Page Streets	4 killed
January 24, 2015	Arverne	New York	148th Ave	4 killed
January 31, 2015	Lagrange	Georgia	Woodstream Trail	4 killed
February 7, 2015	Douglasville	Georgia	Willow Tree Circle	5 killed
February 22, 2015	Killeen	Texas	Godman Street	4 killed
February 26, 2015	Tyrone	Missouri	Highway H	8 killed
March 24, 2015	Indianapolis	Indiana	North Harding Street	4 killed
April 16, 2015	Phoenix	Arizona	East Anderson Drive	5 killed
May 3, 2015	Menasha	Wisconsin	North Lake Street	4 killed
May 12, 2015	Tucson	Arizona	West Calle Medina Road	5 killed
May 17, 2015	Waco	Texas	S Jack Kultgen Expy	9 killed
June 7, 2015	Deer Lodge	Montana	Boulder Creek Road	5 killed
June 13, 2015	Columbus	Ohio	E. Hudson St	4 killed
June 17, 2015	Charleston	South Carolina	Calhoun St	9 killed
July 15, 2015	Holly Hill	South Carolina	Old State Road	4 killed
July 16, 2015	Chattanooga	Tennessee	Amnicola Hwy	6 killed
July 22, 2015	Suwanee	Georgia	Old Atlanta Rd	5 killed
August 7, 2015	Barre	Vermont	Airport Rd	4 killed
August 8, 2015	Houston	Texas	Falling Oaks	8 killed
September 10, 2015	Excelsior	Minnesota	Channel Drive	5 killed
September 17, 2015	Geddes	South Dakota	379th Street	6 killed
October 1, 2015	Roseburg	Oregon	Umpqua College Road	10 killed
November 2, 2015	Pendleton	South Carolina	Refuge Road	4 killed
November 13, 2015	Jacksonville	Florida	Shirley Oaks Drive	4 killed
November 15, 2015	Tennessee Colony	Texas	County Road 2217	5 killed
November 23, 2015	Columbus	Ohio	S. Terrace Avenue	4 killed
December 2, 2015	San Bernardino	California	South Waterman Ave	16 killed

 

And that’s just the scenes with 4 or more people KILLED! A mass shooting is officially defined as 4 or more people killed OR injured! And THAT’S just 2015 in the good ole USA! Not even counting the fun had in Paris!

 

But… shit… with all this fun comes publicity… people are paying attention and talking about me and my buddy Dickey. Anyone got a distraction?

 

Confederate Flags! What color is that dress and does anyone really care? Let’s ride a motorcycle to our gay marriage so Kim Davis will go to jail!

 

Oh this exceeds my expectations again! If you’ll look to stage right when the orchestra plays “Eye of the Tiger” you’ll see Mr. T doing an insane viral dance with Jessica Williams and all of your favorite social media memes!

 

Yes! The data says we have a winner by a Canadian mile.

 

The crazy Drake video bling is a haunting portrayal of Kylie Jenner sucking and fucking up the last of the ebola, all of it, from the dick of nature. Beautiful.

 

On a sadder note. Black lives matter brings tension to the police community. What a buzzkill. Cheerup, everybody! I need another outrage. Quick!

 

Oh, yeah! Who has AIDS? I’ve got a secret and it’s out now! Oh, let’s not play that game. BREAKING NEWS: Man who jacked up the price of lifesaving AIDS drug arrested for securities fraud! Mhm, financial fraud is nothing to fuck with.

 

Let’s all FREAK OUT! Did someone say BOMB?

 

Ah, but snitched on bitches haven’t forgotten. You still think that’s right? He died. Do you cherish his memory? What do you got to tell me, bad boy? Was that your first beer? Do you love us? Are you a bad boy? Can you roll in my crew?

 

Are you cool like me? Not like them. I’m sorry. Didn’t you rehearse?

 

We said goodbye. Finally.

You deserve this honor: my running mate.

Counterfeit. We all pretended.

Thank you for your help.

Finally the top stories from last night, c’mon, c’mon, hurry it up now.

He was shot while dragging a piece of pizza?

Not even going up?

I’m supposed to be impressed by this like he’s some kind of hero?

He’s just a quitter getting shot over a piece of pizza. Look at me!

Someone give me a movie deal!

 

 

 

 

It’s the first day of summer and the kids are fine at home. Playing in the yards, the boys are fine and know Mary is average. Mary goes home and is hit with a right mitt. She knows she’s the first girl of the evenings, even with her 11 o’clock curfew.

She rides her Schwinn on her paper route and to the movies where we watch Gone with the Wind.

It’s been 15 long years since Mary took me to lunch and I took her to her real home.

 

Daaammmn! You ever wanted to be black? Black is sexy, yeah? Hell, yeah, you don’t even know. Quick story… sound track

fo shizzle… anyway… I’m walking down the street, minding my own business, when out of nowhere! STOP! ON THE GROUND! Wha? Who? Me? YES, YOU! YOU WERE LOOKING AROUND! Yes, officer. I usually look both ways before crossing the street. Can’t we just have a dance off? BANG! BANG! End soundtrack

 

Oh, please, someone give me another distraction! Quick! Even if he was shot, why should I care? He was a bad person, right?

 

Oh, look! A new warning! Another disease!

And it’s carried in our tears? I’m sorry.

That’s on you… just stop crying! It’ll only make the crisis worse!

Ta-da! Congress is on the case! That’ll fix everything! Yes, yes, yes! Thank you!

For the third time they failed to pass a bill. They blocked it!

Until they can ban Planned Parenthood from receiving money? Oh, how long could THAT take?

Just lock the cars and smash the jars.

We’re concerned about the people. There’s nothing we’re not willing to do. It did not smell well and it made a noise when it was used. Who can have sex like that? It even comes in different flavors!

 

That’s a government that has its people’s best interest at heart!

 

 

 

Why I marched

Someone asked what rights men have that women don’t.  Women can drive and vote and own property, even run for public office.  We’ve come a long way, baby!  Even though the question was asked in anger, I’ll try to tone down the attitude in my thoughts on the matter because an angry woman is “nasty”, a “bitch”, even a “cunt”.  Things get creative from there.  What’s an angry man?  Women want the same right to anger as men have.

Did you know there are test strips and special finger nail polish that change color when exposed to date rape drugs?  We want the right to go out, with friends or alone, without the possibility of being raped as our default setting.

If, God forbid, we are raped we want the right to go to the hospital and police without cynicism and accusations.  No, it  wasn’t because of where we were or what we were wearing.  Whether or not we had flirted with him or even had had sex with him in the past is irrelevant and shouldn’t even be asked.  We want our evidence kits tested, not destroyed.  We want him to have to live with his crime for the rest of his life.  He gave us a life sentence.  Why should he get off with less?

We want pay equity.  Same shit, different century.  We want to get jobs based on our qualifications.  How many people voted against Mrs. Clinton because they “don’t want to look at her for four years”?  So because she isn’t “pretty”?   Bullshit.  How many women have lost job opportunities because they are married or of child-bearing age?  How often do you hear of men losing promotions because they might decide to have a child in the next couple of years?

There are also rights we want to protect that are under systematic attack.  OK, I’ll go there.  Planned Parenthood provides education, cancer screenings, birth control (which can prevent abortions, fyi), and general healthcare in many clinics where the population has little other access to these services.  Yes, some clinics even provide abortion services.  Without touching on right or wrong here, let’s keep back alley abortions as a thing of the past.  Now, if you are of the belief  that abortion is murder, remember not everyone agrees with you.  We are asking that our medical choices be between us and our medical professional and not based on your beliefs or opinions.  I’m sure there are ways you can educate others on your beliefs while helping, rather than harming, the women faced with this heartbreaking choice.

And if a woman needs permission from someone other than her medical provider to have an abortion, a man should need permission to get ED pills, which should be issued with two condoms and a Plan B pack.  Per pill, not prescription.  Oh, would that raise the price?  Well, why should we be paying for him to have sex, anyway?

It seems our right to peaceably assemble has also recently come under verbal assault.

Now, if you think the Marches were all about “women’s rights”, you weren’t paying attention.

Our new President has financial interest in a hotel that foreign leaders have already said of course they’ll stay in to curry favor.  Our new President has financial interests in oil pipelines, most notoriously the Dakota Access Pipeline.  He is now in a position to enact legislation that will do irreparable harm to the water protectors, the water source, the land, and everything else in the name of PERSONAL PROFIT.

Our new President has nominated for positions people who are eminently unqualified and have frightening views for their proposed departments.

Our new President has already moved to undo insurance protections for the poor, the disabled, and the chronically ill.

We the People marched to remind him that we are aware of his conflicts of interest and we are watching him and holding him accountable.

We the People marched to send a message to his appointees that we are watching them and holding them accountable, too.

We the People marched to send a message to the people in our new President’s line of fire that we’ve got you covered, even if you misunderstand or despise us.  An attack on one of us is an attack on all free Americans.

We the People marched to remind the President and his cronies that just because you prefer to live in a world of alternative facts doesn’t mean reality goes away or follows your command.

Has all of the childish name-calling, the negativity, the hatred being spewed by the President’s supporters made me regret my decision to march?  On the contrary, it’s furthered my resolve to action.  I will attend every march, every rally, every meeting, every group get-together I can until sanity reigns and reality is restored.  When you insult me and call me names I learn more about you than I do myself.  Anyway, this snowflake is proud to be part of the avalanche.

Happy New Year New You!

Ah, the beginning of a new year!  So full of hope and renewal.  Big plans to change lives, change the world!  OK, hands up if you’ve decided this is the year you’ll exercise regularly or start running or begin a new diet or go to church weekly or “be a better you” in some other way.

Yeah, they all start off that way, don’t they?  We start off with all this enthusiasm and we’re so gung-ho.  But by March all the beginning enthusiasm has worn off and we’re back in the same old routines, probably disappointed in ourselves for failing when we’d set ourselves up for failure in the first place.

So what can we do instead?  How can we make ourselves and our world better in 2017?  Certainly not by trying to do it all up front.  No, it needs to be a more gradual process to succeed.  Baby steps!  And we must be forgiving of ourselves when we don’t make a goal or a new routine doesn’t stick after the first month.

It’s true that we often don’t push ourselves hard enough and don’t reach our potential in any given area because of it.  It’s also true that sometimes we push ourselves too hard and sabotage our efforts that way.  I know I’m guilty of both!

Face it, you aren’t going to go to the gym every day.  Probably not even 3 days a week every week for the whole year.  But that doesn’t mean you can’t exercise several times a week.  Go for a walk.  Do a 20-30 minutes workout video or follow along with an exercise sheet easily printed from various websites.  I’ve seen some designed to be done at a desk!  You also won’t follow a strict diet of severely restricting what and how much you can eat, either.  But you can find a healthy eating program to help you make balanced choices and eat more whole foods instead of sugary treats.

How will I be a “new me” this year, I guess is a question.  Well, certainly not by making any Earth shattering resolutions and failing by mid-February.  No, that won’t do at all.  That’s just “me” not a “new me” 😛   I’d rather continue studying to learn more about networking and computer repair until I finally get a job and then continue on from there.  I’ll also continue meditating and reading daily (or almost daily, anyway) to grow both spiritually and as a person.  I’ll try to do a better job to help those in need and to recognize when someone doesn’t need or want or can’t accept anything I have to offer.  I could also do a better job of accepting help when I’m the one in need.

So how about it?  Do you have big plans for the new year?  How do you intend to make it work long-term?  Can you be forgiving of yourself if you stumble along the way?  Remember, dear.  You’re only human.  You will make mistakes.  You will run low on steam to keep up a big project.  You will probably even find yourself forgetting because it’s not part of your pre-set routine.  Love yourself because of this, not in spite of it.  It’s okay, really.  You are going to be great and do great things!  Even if it’s not what you planned 🙂

Some days just aren’t worth getting out of bed for

I’m so over this day.  I was over this day hours ago.

First, I slept really late.  OK, I had no place to be this morning so it wasn’t a big deal but it still through me off my morning.  Then my elbow and knee have been hurting all day as though I twisted them in my sleep.  And the first thing I see on my news source is Carrie Fisher died.

After lunch I went to my room and what to my wondering eye should appear but three (3 — THREE!) massive hairballs yacked up on my bed.  Merry Christmas, love CDK!

I took Riley to see a movie.  Well, that was the plan anyway.  We went to the theater and it was crazy busy!  I haven’t seen that theater so busy in years!  So we wait in line, get our tickets, then go to the massively busy concession stand.  Just when it was time for the lady in front of me to order, the cash register broke and it took them several minutes to get the register next to it prepared.  There was also no carbonation for the drink machines.  When Riley went to fill her cup with a non-carbonated beverage, we got separated in the crowd.  It took me a good 10 minutes to find her!  I was about to freak out and start yelling for her!  I asked the ticket-takers at the door and one of them had seen a girl in a blue coat with hood sitting outside theater 2.  The same movie was playing there but it started half an hour earlier.  Our movie was in theater 16.  I find her sitting on the floor by the doors completely in tears.  I tried to talk her down so we could continue on to our movie but she was close to full autistic meltdown mode.  Fortunately I was able to get the tickets refunded and we left.

We stopped at the Dollar Tree on our way home and I got AA batteries for the new clock I got for Christmas and a frame for the picture Riley drew me for Christmas.  Once home, I fix up the clock and hang it on the hook, replacing my Grandmother’s Kinkade print.  Two minutes later it falls and the frame broke.  My dad was trying to adjust the frame to glue it back on when the whole thing shattered and the glass facing broke.  So now I have a plain circle with Roman numerals for a clock.  Sigh.

Then I put my picture in the frame and left it sitting on the coffee table to take to my room later.  Glad (CoDependent Kitty) curled up on it.  When he got up Fursley decided to give it a try.  Fursley is nearly 10 pounds heavier.  He broke the glass.

Seriously.  What?  Fine.  Whatever.  I got myself some chocolate milk (rice milk, of course, damn food “sensitivities”).  And ended up spilling it all over my favorite pajama pants, my shirt from Riley’s school, and the chair I was sitting in.

I’m really just so over this day.  Seriously.  Maybe someone put a curse on my day.  Maybe it’s because today is December 27.  Maybe I was just due for a rotten day.  All I know is I’m done!  I’m going to get ready for bed now.  I haven’t put the mattress protector (yes, the cat yack soaked all the way through) or sheets back on my bed yet but right now I don’t care!  I need to put this day behind me and try again tomorrow!

Ten Commandments of Love

1. Live your life in a state of quiet meditation that you may better hear the quiet voices of your teachers speaking from deep within your soul.
2. Be not distracted by the ills of the world for there are many and they will vastly overwhelm you. Focus instead on the ways to help heal the pain.
3. Demonstrate servant-leadership. “How can I help you succeed?” The measure of success of those you lead becomes a portion of your own success. By lifting others up in this way you raise yourself higher.
4. Do not blindly follow any leader or teacher. Even the best make mistakes. Others may be deceptive and are not who they claim to be.
5. Never forget to love one another as God has loved you. For God so loved the world that he sent his only begotten son to teach the world to love and forgive and be generous with one another.
6. Teach all who are willing to learn. Give generously to all who ask or are in need. Love all unconditionally.
7. Pray God’s blessings on the world daily.
8. Do what you can to help. Do not fear that you can not measure up to the generosity of your wealthy neighbor. You will never be judged by her yardstick, for good and evil performed by her is hers alone.
9. Study the great teachers of Love daily that you may be a shining example of their students.
10. Do not boast of your good works. Allow them to speak for you and be their own reward. If you need applause for giving to charity then it was not a charitable act.

 

This list came to me in a meditation recently. These are certainly high goals and not all of them are easy. It all makes sense, though.

1. This one is difficult. How do I quiet my mind to listen to the wisdom within? Sometimes it feels impossible. I guess when my mind is whirling is when I most need to go to my room and close the door and sit in solitude for a few minutes to work out what it is distracting me.
2. How can I avoid being distracted by the ills of the world?  There are so many and they are everywhere.  It seems that hatred is everywhere and love can be hard to find.  This is when I need to focus on one thing I can do.  I can sign a petition, donate to an organization that helps fix one of the evils, pick up something someone dropped, smile or say something nice to someone.  It feels inadequate but every little drop of Love spread into the world helps.
3. For some people servant-leadership is just who they are.  They innately recognize that the better the people around them do, the more they themselves thrive.  How wonderful to know someone like this!  How much more wonderful would it be if the world were full of these people!  For many of us learning this way of leadership will be challenging because so many of our role models have been bossy but I believe it would be worth it.
4. Always do your own research.  If someone tells you something that doesn’t sound right, look into it.  Not everyone is looking to help and some people just make legitimate mistakes.  It happens.  If a teacher becomes agitated or upset that you’ve asked a question or researched their information then they are not helpers and you should proceed with caution.  If they rejoice with you when you come up with independent answers and will discuss new information, then they are worth hearing.
5. Love, forgive, be generous.  Love everyone regardless of your differences.  Those are petty reasons to hate.  Forgive people who have wronged you.  It is a difficult thing, to drop such a burden.  But carrying around the resentment and anger will only harm you.  Be generous.  Give what you can, when you can.  If all you can give is a smile, smile generously.
6. Teach what?  I guess whatever it is that you know that someone else wants to learn.  Tricky one, that.
7. Pray God’s blessings on the world daily — God certainly knows that our world needs all the blessings it can get!
8. This is a good reminder.  You can only do what YOU are capable of.  Don’t fret about what your neighbor is doing and fear that your efforts will look pitiful in comparison.  It’s not a competition.  There will be no comparison in Heaven.  If your neighbor donates $1000 and all you can give is an hour of your time, then give that hour and know it’s precious.  Remember Cain and Abel.  Cain was a farmer and offered fruit from the ground rather than picking fruit himself.  Abel brought the fat from a firstborn animal of his flock.  God did not compare the two brothers’ offerings.  He told Cain to bring a proper offering.  It was Cain who compared their offerings and became enraged.  So it is with us.  Our efforts are not compared to each others’.  We may make that comparison ourselves but the truth remains that we can only do what is within our abilities.  And I thank God that I will never be held up to anyone else’s measure.
9. Study the great teachers of Love.  Oh, what a lovely idea!  There have been so many wonderful teachers throughout history!  Jesus, the Buddhas, the current Dali Lama, just to name a few obvious examples.  I definitely need to read more Love!
10. “If you need applause for giving to charity then it was not a charitable act.”  So true!  Wow!  How often do we hear about the anonymous person paying off layaway accounts or other such wonderful acts!  Not often enough!  But why are they anonymous?  Why not share their acts with the world?  Because they are out to help others.  If their identity becomes known, would it compromise their ability to help in the future?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  But they are doing it for that good feeling you get from helping and they are known to Heaven by their deeds.

 

So my translation of my meditation may not be 100% and my interpretation of this translation is probably less than perfect.  But even with any errors these still seem to me like good ways to live a Love-filled life.  Some of these may be fairly easy while others are decidedly more difficult.  I guess I just have a new set of goals for myself.

 

In Love,

S

A City called Now

As I continue cleaning out my bookshelves I’m finding more old musings and short stories.  This one could be better but I like the concept so I’m typing it for safe-keeping 🙂

A City Called Now

You’re standing in a train station. The station is beautiful. There are intricate tapestries and many statues and gilded fixtures.

The single track that runs through the station is the only way in or out of this great city.

This city is called Now. The weather is variable – some days sunny, some days rainy. There are many roads and buildings to explore.

One way down the train tracks is the town of Old Now. It is deserted and desolate. The yards are overgrown and the buildings are boarded up and crumbling. The only remaining residents of Old Now are the hobgoblins in neighborhoods with names like What-If-Land and Regretville. Tourists who visit too long on Memory Lane risk being held hostage and never returning to Now.

Going the other way along the track takes you to New Now. This city hasn’t been built yet. There are no neighborhoods, no buildings, and only a few street signs labeled “Maybe Street” or “I Wish Lane”. Visitors here spend their time thinking about what they want the city to look like. They wander wistfully around dreaming of grand buildings and beautiful gardens. They risk getting lost and having a hard time making their way back to Now.

The train station in Now has a secret. The truth is there is no train. There is no way to get to Old Now or New Now. Now is the only place that is real. There is no way out but it goes on forever. There are thousands of neighborhoods to explore. There are countless roads to walk and an infinite number of buildings. Many of them are beautiful beyond description while others are things out of nightmares. But it’s all right here in Now and if you don’t like where you are, you can choose another road. It might be difficult to get there but as long as you aren’t lost in Old Now or New Now you can find a way to a part of Now that you like better.

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This musing needs a good re-write but the reminder to live in NOW, not the past or the future, is something I need once in a while!